It's that time again...

Yeah, you know what I'm talking about, all you ladies out there.  The time we lose our cool a little (or a lot) too quickly.  The time we cry over dropping a perfectly good potato chip on the floor or a cellphone commercial.  The time we don't seem to understand why our husbands/friends/family members/(insert anyone here) are being such jerks.  The time we should be declared clinically insane (but don't anyone dare suggest it).

Usually, I would never admit that anything is different, but I seem to be having a brief moment of clarity amidst the cloud of emotions I have been encircled in for the past day or so.  I shan't spell it out for you.  That would be inappropriate.  And besides, then "they" would know what we were talking about.  That's right.  I just ripped my husband's face off for, well, I can't really seem to remember...hmm...but anyway, I just came back to my room to try to do some homework, and started sniffling over all of the problems I have in my life, when it dawned on me: I don't really have that many problems.  And it seemed I'd felt this way before...through a series of some seriously highly intelligent musings and calculations, I came to the conclusion that this also happened approximately 30 days ago, give or take a couple of days.  Gasp!  Which brings us to now.  Don't you worry, though.  I haven't said sorry to James.  Then he would know that I know that I'm crazy.  Best to not discuss such things when I could snap back to that state at any given moment.  Better yet, best not to discuss anything with anyone ...(computers and imaginary people don't count).

In fact, this may be the first time in history I've recognized the symptoms before it-that-must-not-be-named occurs.  It's usually a hind-sight sort of realization, and again, not one that is usually ever admitted to.  Perhaps I'm sending this message out as a warning in my brief moment of clarity: Beware.  If you must speak to me, speak gently and avert your eyes...it would also be great if one of your husbands could remove my husband from the premises for, oh, I don't know, golfing or fishing.  Something that will last a few hours...or days...cooked dinner would be welcomed as well if placed on the doorstep (run away quickly)...I'm fading fast, my friends.  I can already feel the tiny tendrils of insanity weaving their way back into my brain, making everything slightly hazy and clouding my judgment...'til we meet again.

*Disclaimer: The above story was contrived during a highly emotional state, and may have been slightly embellished by author.  Said author is really not that crazy.  In fact, she's just fine.  Nothing to worry about.  Of course I'm fine.  In fact, I think all this talk about monthly issues is ridiculous and our husbands/families/friends really are just jerks for a few days out of the month just to mess with us...yeah!  Anyway, what were we talking about again?  Oh yeah.  I have a lot of homework.  I should get on that...don't tell me what to do...

No direction

Hmmm...what shall we talk about this evening?  I'm feeling like I have something to say, but I'm not sure what it is...it's been a while, folks.  I'm tired, cranky, sick, I may have just failed a quiz, and I'm pretty sure there's no more ice cream left in the freezer.  Le sigh.  However, I'm home.  I'm chillin on my couch.  Oooo and James just informed me that there is a new Vampire Diaries on TV!  My mood has miraculously changed!!!  Just give me a bag of chips and I'll be fine.

So here are a few truths I've learned/relearned as of late, some of which are due to the fact that I now have a life...(so sad)...


* Hepatitis A/B shots hurt like a mother!
* Being a grownup isn't as much fun as doing whatever I want.
* Waking up at 5:00 a.m. to teach a 5:30 a.m. yoga class is ridiculous.
* Just because I pretend I have no homework, doesn't mean I really don't.
* I still rock at guitar hero (just ask my nieces and nephews) and yes, I'm still a loser for it.
* Reading the same sentence 873 times before I realize I have no idea what it's talking about can't be a good thing.
* Dishes don't do themselves.  Neither does the laundry.  
* Calling myself a retard in front of the special ed teacher is most likely not okay.
* There is a limitless supply of snot in my head.  I don't care if you don't want to hear it.  It's true.  We're talking buckets, people.  
* Watching grass grow IS fun (We finally planted on Monday!)
* Sudafed rocks. 
* Go with your first instinct.  Changing your answers can only result in a chain of swearwords once you've realized you had the right answer to begin with.
* High school girls crack me up - I'm pretty sure I never acted like that...did I?  Oh wait, I still do.  
* Volleyball is the best sport on the planet.
* I really, really, really am going to get in trouble for saying this, but here goes...Football sucks.
* Ear wax is disgusting.  
* Reading textbooks is not as fun as reading about vampires/faeries/immortals/wizards/witches/(insert fantastical creature here).
* Facebook is the devil.  (Why does my computer screen automatically go there every time I open my computer to do homework?)
* The iphoto retouch button has miraculously cured my adult acne.
* Commanding an entire group of girls to run a killer and then watching from the sidelines is oddly satisfying...(mwahaha)
* Telling myself "I'll just get up in the morning early and do it," never works.  Never.  Yet I fool myself every time...
* McDonald's cheeseburgers are the best things on the planet (I'm prone to mild exaggeration...but they are sooo addicting).
* Despite my murmurings about school, I really do like my chosen profession. Working with Tashie has been great so far!  
* Watching someone do something and doing it yourself for the first time are 2 completely different things with completely different results. 
* Inside jokes are really funny.  Unless you're not "in" on the joke.
* Old habits die hard.  Procrastination has reinstated itself as my constant companion now that I'm back in school. Blast.


I'm sure I could come up with more ridiculously profound things to say, but I'm spent.  Oh, and James needs the computer. :) Have a good weekend, everybody!  

Happy Monday!

So. I was just looking at the last time I blogged, and apparently it's time to fill this web page with the meaningless fluff and bull that is - my blog. Seriously. I'm not even sure why I do it except for my own amusement, since I never really have anything meaningful to blog about. But, alas, I must subject the few who do take a peek to the intricate and complex workings of my brain (insert fake, maniacal laugh here) because...wait. Why am I doing this again? Oh. Because I'm mormon, I'm married, and I think the prophet said so. I seem to have missed the memo on having children. Blast.

I went to Sam's Club and Costco today, only to discover that there is a reason I let my Costco card lapse. Seriously. Why do James and I need 83 gallons of milk or 67 pounds of peanuts? It's ridiculous.

You know what else is ridiculous? I was on my way to teach yoga tonight and looked in my rearview mirror, only to discover that I had a sweet kool-aid mustache all along my upper lip. I mean, seriously. What am I, 5? And it's not like this has never happened to me before - it's every time I take a frickin drink of kool-aid. Oooo but you seriously have to try the generic brand of Crystal Light - it's probably Great Value since it's Walmart - but the strawberry flava (that's right-flava). It's super good. So good, you may get a mustache, so be very, very careful. Unless, of course, you like that sort of thing.

Moving on. Becky and I were discussing the other day how we were pretty much tom-boy-ish growing up...I remember wearing t-shirts and jeans every day of my life...walking around town with Becky without any shoes or socks on...laughing at cheerleaders...making fun of boys who loved pink. When I was in elementary, I remember my favorite t-shirt was a sweet reptile gardens one with a big bird of some sort on the front. In high school, I pretty much wore whatever regional/state (insert various sport here) LARGE t-shirt I could lay my hands on. Oh. And Silvertab jeans that I probably could have fit 2 of me into. I remember bragging that I never put any product in my hair or wore any jewelry (Well, congratulations. You look like crap). I specifically remember showing up to school half the time with my hair wet. Sigh.

I'm not sure when that changed - don't get me wrong. I still love me some t-shirts and jeans, just ones that fit. And pretty much I still don't do my hair, but at least I try - sometimes I even use hairspray. But somewhere along the line, I started loving pink. And high-heeled shoes. And RUFFLES. I am obsessed with ruffles, I tell you. How girly can you get? And my last saving grace, the last thing keeping me from being completely girly (k, maybe not. Have you seen my nails?) has been my lack of jewelry. I've always been, again, half-proud that I don't wear any jewelry - I don't even have my ears pierced. It has kept me from completely embracing my two X chromosomes. But, alas...Cindy Allred invited me to a Silpada party last fall, and I have been wearing jewelry ever since. Well, when I remember. It's difficult, I tell you. I'm even having a party at my house this Thursday (yes, you are all invited. The 2 of you that actually read this...For real though, I sent out some invitations, but just to try and get the word out there. So anyone can come - 6:30-8:30 this Thursday, open house, my house. Just show up. Cindy Allred is the rep). Ahem. So yes. I'm still holding out on the piercing of the ears...alright, I still don't think I'm that girly, but just come to my stupid party.

For those of you, or you, singular, who are still reading - seriously, though...I have the attention span of a 2-year-old, so anything longer than a paragraph usually doesn't get read - I lost my train of thought. This is ridiculous. Happy Monday, everyone! You! Mom! Mom?

Never shop while famished...

I had an art class from 1:00-3:40 today. By the time I was finished, I was famished. Ravenous. Being the good girl that I am, I went to Blair's to get a "snack." A healthy snack. It was a good alternative to McDonald's in my mind (I ate McDonald's on Tuesday...) So. I entered Blair's supermarket, only to be greeted by the wafting scents of yummy goodness coming from the bakery. As I wandered through the store, I walked right past the fruit, veggies, yogurt...you know, anything that may have been good for me, and grabbed a BIG bag of chips and Diet Rootbeer (I heard diet pops cancel out anything you eat with them). Then, while in the checkout, I spotted a Charleston Chew. Yum. Strawberry, even. I have decided that I need blinders - you know, those things horses wear? - as I'm waiting in line at the checkout. I can't be trusted. They do it on purpose. Dang them...(whoever "they" are). So there I was, with a pop, chips and a candybar. And I didn't even care. And I ate the whole candybar, (I almost ripped into it at checkout). And probably half a bag of chips. And now I'm home and James will be home any minute and will be wondering what's for dinner. Only, I'm not hungry. I do have half a bag of chips left, however...

*Note to self: Bring snack for next class...and maybe a blanket for nap-time...and maybe a carton of milk.

Nananana-nana-na...

I wanna start a fight.

P!nk. You ever heard of her? That's right. The singer. P!nk. For whatever reason, I can't seem to get the song, "So What" out of my head. For the past 4 days. Maybe it would help if I didn't listen to it 700 times a day...seriously it's a problem. And I can't stop. I even woke up at 5 this morning, and couldn't fall back asleep until around 7 because...you guessed it: I was rocking out in my head. I know I've heard this song before - it came out in '08 - but I just "discovered" it this week when I was watching a parody of New Moon (hilarious - watch it at www.thehillywoodshow.com) - I decided to download the whole cd, and this is the result.

I mean, really. What's not to like? I get to scream out loud that I'm a rockstar, that I have rock moves (James keeps asking me what, exactly, rock moves are, but I've been showing them to him all day!), and that I wanna start a fight...not to mention that I get to say "you're a tool." (I don't care who you are - that's funny...that and calling someone a d-bag...perhaps I'm shedding too much light on my maturity level) I've always been a fan of angry female music. Seriously. If you want to be entertained - peek in my windows at any given moment and you may be lucky enough to witness my secret desire to be a rockstar while screaming at the top of my lungs to P!nk...

Okay, just kidding. Maybe. This may or may not be a picture of me on Halloween night. Anyway, I'm interested to know what songs keep you up at night. Please, do share. Until then...nananana-nana-na...

(Oh, and if you haven't read my previous post - please do so. I've been a little post-happy lately...)

Plug

I am currently teaching Yoga in Lovell, and would love it if more people would come. :) Therefore, I am going to dedicate this post to the wonderfulness that is Yoga. Ahem.

I was a member of 24-hour fitness in Denver, and randomly decided to take a yoga class. I had done a couple of videos, but that was the extent of my knowledge about yoga (Denise Austen kind of scares me). I was actually a little nervous about doing a group exercise class, but quickly got over it once I was in there. 3 classes later, I decided that I really wanted to teach it. Why? Because I knew I was moving to Wyoming and that it is pretty much not offered here in Lovell - I wanted to be able to continue either on my own or offer it to people here. (Yes, that is me, smiling cheesily in the back row during my YogaFit level 1 training)

I got certified through YogaFit - a company that is designed to "bring yoga to the masses." The classes are organized just like a group exercise class would be at any gym with a warm-up, then a work phase, then a cool-down. The method is supported by current exercise science research - they taught me how to teach proper alignment, what poses are appropriate for each phase, etc. It is a safe, effective way to teach yoga - and I can promise you, there is nothing to be scared about. I have had people ranging in age from 20-70 in my classes - I always teach a modified version first, then progress into a more challenging form of the pose for those who wish to try so that people at all levels can be in one class.

What's so special about yoga? (I love asking and answering my own questions, in case you haven't noticed...) Well, for one, I love it. I feel more relaxed and stress-free after doing it (it's actually proven to decrease stress levels - I'm not making this up); I have noticed a considerable difference in the strength of my entire body, as yoga focuses on creating balance in our bodies (I really hate lifting weights...just sayin'); it also focuses on balance, flexibility, and endurance. Basically, it's awesome. I literally have had people tell me that they no longer are taking sleeping pills to help them sleep; they don't clench their jaw at night anymore; they think I'm the best yoga teacher in the world!!! (yes, I'm making that last one up). Ahem. But yes, lots of bennies from yoga. (I promise I won't make you do what the lady in the pic is doing, well, ever.)

I teach Monday and Wednesday nights from 8-9 at the dance studio on main street...I have heard some people say that they would come if it was at a different time. I have no job, people. I'm easy. Tell me when you want to come, and I will try to accommodate your wishes. I'd even be willing to throw in another class, maybe on Saturdays...I've thought about offering two Saturdays a month for people who just want to try it for free. As of right now, the price is basically $4/class. The rec center is offering punch passes - $80 for 20 punches; however, I think I may have her change that to maybe 11 punches for $40 or 22 punches for $80 - throw in a few freebies. Of course, I actually have a boss so I need to speak with her first. But the punch passes last as long as you want them to. Some people just come once a week, others come twice. Others just randomly show up whenever they want. A 20 punch pass will last you 2 and a half months if you go every time. I have dropped $80 in one night by going to a stinking jewelry party or a pampered chef party...just sayin.' ;)

I think I have talked myself to death, so I shall say farewell for now. I feel I have successfully "plugged" in enough info, and more (I tend to be verbose), to hopefully get some people interested. Let me know if you have any questions! Hopefully I'll see some of you there! Namaste! Hee.