Almost...

Over the last couple of weeks, I ALMOST...

...wet myself.  I will always be forever grateful to the outhouses located on the south side of Pena Blvd on the way to the airport.  Grody they may be, but they sure beat relieving myself in the backseat of my bro-in-law's car.  Thank you, founder of the portable toilet service.

...died of starvation.  I was sent to bed with no dinner upon arriving in Dallas for a training for work.  Okay, not really, but apparently no one else was hungry.  I, on the other hand, could not stop thinking about food, mainly because all I'd had to eat earlier that day was lettuce wraps.  I was also in a room by myself, and was oddly scared to leave it.  I finally got up enough courage at around 10 pm to go down to the lobby of the hotel, and lo-and-behold, a beacon of light shone down upon the freezer filled with frozen goodies and the fridge filled with Diet Pepsi.  It was the best $8.50 I ever spent.  A pint of ice cream (I really didn't eat the whole thing...) and a Diet Pepsi later, I was fat and happy.  

...got suckered into buying something off an infomercial.  So there I was, eating my pint and watching infomercials...  Have you heard of P90x?  Not a good idea to watch infomercials late at night.  I think they do that on purpose.  I finally came to the realization that I will never be that disciplined or motivated, nor do I want to be.  Maybe.

...lost my head.  Note to self, when sitting in aisle seat on airplane, do not fall asleep with head leaning out in aisle.  Flight attendants will show no regard for parts of body in aisle when pushing carts full of peanuts and pop.  

...saw what the guy next to me on the plane looked like.  I'm anti-social on planes.  I either bury my face in a book or fall asleep.  No exceptions.  

...cried.  Have you ever watched Extreme Makeover: House Edition???  What's the deal?  Is that their main goal, because I'm pretty sure it is.  Who knew I would cry over an old lady and her rose garden?  

...got outsmarted by a cheerleader...not that there's anything wrong with that...ahem.  Um, I don't want to talk about it, but it involved me, a cheerleader from CSU, and a paper towel dispenser...

...laughed my face off.  I'm pretty sure it was the same cheerleader (see above) at the CSU vs. WY Cowgirls game last weekend...she was cheering along with the others, throwing t-shirts to those in the crowd who were "cheering the loudest."  She chose the fan, wound up for an underhand throw, released the t-shirt...and threw it straight up in the air - to herself.  Not on purpose, mind you.  Attempt #2:  here she goes....Oh!  This time, the powerful underhand throw rocketed the t-shirt BEHIND her.  Yes, that's right, behind.  And no, that was not the location of the loudest fan.  Attempt #3.  Not making that mistake again!  She overhand throws it by stepping with the same foot as the hand that throws it, and finally launches it to, well, someone in the crowd.  Who knows who she was aiming for???