Tonight I went to Ft Collins to play city league volleyball with my dear friend, Terrance Jillian (aka Teri). One of the girls on our team has two cute little kids that she sometimes brings with her. They are so sweet...occasionally, we have to take a time out so that Sherri can take her little girl to the potty. Tonight was one such occasion. Sherri raced back in, put her daughter on the bleachers, and ran back out on the court. "We didn't wash her hands," she says, as we all laugh (they only give us 30 second time outs, so we had already started playing without her).
After the game (yes, we won, of course...) I told Teri to wait for me because I had to use the potty. As I was sitting there, Sherri walks in with her little girl again into the stall next to me.
Sherri: "Okay, let's hurry. Let's get this unbuttoned."
Me: (imagine it as if I'm talking to a little child x 10) "Okay! Here I go!"
Sherri: Laughs. Sort of.
Sherri: "Remember like last time..." blah blah blah, whatever mothers say to their kids when they take them to the bathroom.
Moron (that would be me, still in mock parent's voice): "And let's remember to wash our hands!" Laughing at my funny joke.
Girl in next stall with child: ....
Me: .....
Suddenly, I wonder why it is that Sherri's daughter would have to pee again so quickly when she just went minutes before. Suddenly, I realize as I look briefly at the little girl's shoe under the stall, that it's much larger than Sherri's little girl's shoe. Suddenly, that doesn't sound much like Sherri...
I pull up my pants, flush, race to the sink, wash my hands, grab my keys & chapstick, drop my chapstick, curse under my breath as I grab for my chapstick (meanwhile the toilet was flushing from the little girl...they would be out in seconds...) and run - no, SPRINT to the bathroom door and flee to the gym where, that's right, you guessed it, Teri, Sherri, and children are all still there.
I tell them my humiliating story as the pseudo Sherri & child enter the gymnasium. We all laugh hysterically as I'm SURE she is telling her story to her teammates about the crazy lady in the adjacent stall (I'm pretty confident she could spot me). Teri pointed out that instead of waiting and saying, "Oh! I'm sorry, I thought you were my friend!" and making it all better and laughing, I decided to duck and run. Yes, folks, I panicked. Let this be a lesson to us all to not speak to others while we're taking care of business. Or to take a friend with us at that very moment so that we know they are, indeed, the person we are talking to. Maybe that's why girl's always go in groups???
