Ramblings of a delirious lass...

A few things I've learned  or observations made in the last couple of days...

- Is it me, or should this blog be entitled, The Adventures of D?

- Never try to cook pancakes and do laundry at the same time.  One will invariably forget about the pancake and then be left with something resembling...well, a burnt pancake.

- If the post-office man asks how one wants to send a package, one should tell him "the cheapest way possible," and never "it doesn't matter." If one fails to do so, post-office man may think he's funny and charge $24 to send overnight and then insist that one said "it didn't matter."  Not funny.  

- If a pop can was left overnight in vehicle during freezing temperatures, do not attempt, I repeat, do not attempt to open can and drink it, especially while still in car.  One cannot suck up the massive quantities quickly enough during the explosion.

- If one values the hairstyle one has on one's own head, one must not exit the safety of one's vehicle under ANY circumstances in Casper, WY.

- Do not put red highlights in hairdo.  It looks like crap.

- While standing at the front of the store in Borders on cellphone, one must not yell at person with whom one is speaking to on said cell phone for 10 minutes.  This will most likely cause a feeling of unease in the people, well, in the entire store.  (This was an observation, mind you.)

- Wash car more often, especially once one finds out true color of car is not, indeed, brown, but pearly white.

- If someone says, "Hi," the correct response is NOT "Good, how are you?"  One will look like a moron.

- One must not buy a box of Gushers at grocery store when one knows the entire box will be eaten in one sitting.  One must not attempt to believe the voices that say one has self-control.

- One must not fall asleep on couch at 10:00 and then get up at 11:30 to take a shower.  One will not be able to sleep and will find oneself writing delirious blogs at 1:30 in the morning...

A Christmas Miracle...

I have a mild case of road rage. Nothing serious, but on occasion, generally when I'm in a hurry, I get extremely irritated and scream a few choice words at those in the vehicles around me. I mean, seriously. Who drives 40 in a 50? 30 in a 45??? I'm getting irate just thinking about it. Especially in Denver when there are millions of people driving and some moron slowing down the flow of traffic. K, I'm done. However, I must admit that I have found myself, usually on the backroads where there's not much traffic, singing to the music and cruising a few below the speed limit...when I'm not in a hurry of course. So it's okay then...hmm...I'm learning a lot about myself as I'm typing this out....

So there I was, making a right-hand turn onto Jordan Road. I had my own turning lane...one of those where you don't have to yield but eventually have to merge in with the traffic. I wasn't necessarily in a hurry, but I did have to get home to finish packing for the trip to WY that day. The light had just turned green for the traffic that I was trying to merge with. I was ahead of them slightly, but the SUV in the front lines decided that I was not allowed to merge in front of him...even though there were plenty of vehicles behind him and I was running out of room. I love my car. It has a V6 engine and speeds up quickly when I need to...not that that happens a lot...so I speed up and get in front of him. I was kind of annoyed, so imagine my reaction as I happen to look in my rear view mirror and see this:

Yeah, you know the type of bird I'm talking about. And it's not feathery. My right hand reflex began to take on a similar shape, only, I don't know...maybe in light of the holiday season...maybe the fact that we're supposed to be following in His footsteps...I began to laugh and put my hand back on the steering wheel. The whole thing seemed ridiculous to me in that moment. It was a Christmas Miracle...

The SUV continued to stay on my tail for another couple of miles until I had to take a left. As I was pulling into the turning lane, the SUV passed me and guess what was plastered to the window in my direction...yep, you guessed it. I turned the other cheek and continued on my merry way, ignoring the raging moron while I happily kept both hands on my steering wheel. (10 & 2, right? Ever since I failed my driving test, that knowledge is burned into my mind...)

So, I guess miracles really do happen. Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and that we (meaning I) can keep the spirit of Christmas in our hearts year-round. ;)

I had one job...

I teach the 5-year old Sunday school class.  This is my second time around...apparently, I didn't get it right the first time.  Actually, I've been in Primary since I got married.  I've done Activity Days, played the piano, taught CTR 5, and the 7-year olds (can't remember what they're called at this moment in time...)  I love Primary...well, most of the time.  During the few weeks that I did have off when we first moved into Parker, before they called me back, I was able to attend Relief Society.  And, amazingly enough, I did miss the Primary.  I didn't think I would...but, after all, there's no singing about Snowmen or Popcorn Popping in Relief Society.  There's no kids climbing in my lap or refusing to to do what I tell them to.  I don't get to color pictures of Jesus or play Hang Man (sometimes I forget 4 year-olds can't read).  However, there is one time of the year that I am anxious to get over with in the Primary.  It's called The Primary Program.  Yeah, you know the one.  When kids from the ages of 3-11 are expected to sit (quietly, mind you) for 2 hours while we get them ready for the program, week after torturous week.  Sorry, but even I cannot sit quietly for two hours...or 5 minutes...hmm...maybe I'm not the best example...

So there I was, fulfilling my duty as a Primary teacher...the kids in my class were to speak their part, then come over to me and get a picture to hold up.  It went something like this...the 1st child held a picture of Jesus.  The 2nd child held an arrow that said "Tells;" the 3rd child held a picture of the Prophet; the 4th child held another arrow with "Tells" on it.  And last, was just "Us."  So, basically, it was saying: Jesus tells the Prophet, the Prophet tells us (explaining how revelation works, right?)  We were flawless.  I was so proud of my kids.  One of the girls holding an arrow was holding it straight up and was wiggling around, but I figured that just livened up the program. There were a few laughs from the crowd, which I assumed were aimed at her.  

After church, when we got home, I asked James..."So how was the Primary Program?  Was it alright?"  To which he replied, "Good, except you had the Prophet telling Jesus what to do."  

I had one job..............looks like I might have to teach the 5 year-olds for the rest of my life.

Beet Red...

When I was younger, I used to turn beet red at the slightest embarrassment. Not so much anymore. In fact, it hardly ever happens (okay, maybe still more often than most, but comparatively speaking...) I just don't really care anymore. However, a few weeks ago I felt like I was 12 again...

KB, Devan, James and I met in Fort Collins to go shopping. I was still kind of looking around at Halloween costumes so we wandered into Hot Topic in the mall. Mmmmkay, so I'm still kind of a Twilight freak, right? So imagine my extreme giddiness when I came across this...

Naturally, I bought it, as you can see. When I brought it up to the register, there were 2 gothic-looking guys working there (imagine that - gothic, in Hot Topic???) Anyway, so I set the shirt down and one guy says "Geek."

...so I start laughing. Because believe me...I KNOW, right? Then he's like, "Here, you have to get a geeky pin if you're a true Twilighter." To which my response was something like, "Well, I must not be a true Twilight fan because I'm not getting a pin," followed by my lame laughing again.

Goth 1 or 2, can't remember: "Oh Edward! He's so hot!" (in a girly voice, mind you)

Me: hahah

Goths: "He's such a dreamy vampire," blah blah blah, on and on they mock me.

Me, in an attempt to joke around: "I love Edward!" hee

Goths: silence...

Me, trying to take focus off my beet red face: "Kara Beth, you have to get a t-shirt if you want to be as cool as me..." (fading away, because KB is not paying attention to me. I'm all alone.)

Goths: silence

Me:...

Finally, the torture is over and I make a beeline for the door. Kara Beth turns to me and says, "your face is all red." At which point I berate her for not coming to my rescue from the mean goth boys. We laugh our faces off for good 20 minutes.

K, for one, yes, I realize these books are Young Adult novels. Yes, I know I'm 26. Yes, I know I am a dork for buying a t-shirt, but that was the point. So I am not so sure why I was feeling so vulnerable to the relentless taunting that took place that day, but I can assure you that my face was a shade shy of a tomato. I am so glad I'm not a teenager anymore, because it was brutal feeling that insecure again...oh, and don't you worry, I wear that shirt all the time, and will be wearing it to the movie that is coming out 11/21/08!!! Woo!

Buyer's Remorse...

So there I was, walking down the mall a few weeks ago, when some foreign guy with a straightener lured me into his lair...er, kiosk.  Normally, I walk by without giving in, but apparently I was feeling...well, a lot like this:

Soooo, he began to tell me the wonders of the fancy pink straightener in hand, when I decided I was sure I already had one just like it.  "Oh, I have one of those.  It's a Corioliss, right?"  To which his response consisted of statements like, "Oh, no.  This one is way better.  It is from Italy and blah blah blah..."  (Imagine it in an italian accent, so it seemed like he was telling the truth...)  Anyway, he convinced the poor sucker (that would be me) to let him do ONE curl (yes, that's right...one of the many things this STRAIGHTENER could do...)  So I gave in and let him do one, two, then eventually my whole head.  15 minutes tops, he said.  

During this time, people were walking by and admiring his work, which was my curly head, and oooing and ahhhing over my lovely curls.  I decided then and there:  I MUST have this straightener/curler.  Two in one, right?  AND, get this, originally it was $250, but TODAY, it was a mere $150.  Plus a 2 year warranty when normally it's only 6 months.  I had been thinking I needed a new straightener anyway...yada yada yada...Plus, at the end he threw in some extra hair stuff so I got a screamin' deal.

30 minutes later...

I pull out my old straightener and *Gasp* not only is it pink, it's exactly the same besides the name on it.  It looked like they just changed the name of the original straightener.  Here is the monologue that took place inside my head:

Frick.  Well, I can take it back...let me see the receipt...double frick!  Non-refundable.  Well, I can just sell it on ebay...should be able to get most of the money back...WTF?  $30???  That's how much it's going for?  (inaudible scream)

K, so allow me to elaborate...Not only was it non-refundable, but on Amazon AND Ebay it was being sold for no, not $150, but $30.  I could have bought 5 of them.  FIVE.  I had already decided I was not going to tell James, but when I started ripping his face off for no apparent reason, I decided to tell him exactly how stupid I was.  Yeah, he wasn't real happy.

Following day...

I gave in and decided to use the "new and improved" pink thing.  Hmmm, I know he got it to curl when HE used it...apparently there has to be some 3 month course on exactly how a curl is made using a straightener because for the life of me, I can't seem to make it work.  Triple frick.

Bart-man to the rescue...

So I went to work on Tuesday, ready for another round of sucking up spit, when down the hall I heard the other dental assistant say, "THAT is a BAT...and it's on THIS side of the window!" Against my better judgement I went over to see it, and lo-and-behold...an outline of a bat on the blinds. Georgette (the dental assistant) flipped the blinds so that it was facing us (I didn't say she was smart) and Bart (my bro-in-law and boss) ran out to his car and got his fishing net.

Meanwhile, I said if they needed me, I'd be in the bathroom with the door locked nice and tight...but my curiosity got the better of me and I stayed to watch. Bart-man took a piece of cardboard and scraped it - I kid you not, the sucker wouldn't let go, and it was making weird creepy bat noises - into the net and held it there with the piece of cardboard. He took it outside while my brave little self watched from the office window. Bart-man was trying to get it to let go of the net, but to no avail. Some patients were leaving the building, wondering what he was doing, when he finally got it to let go. The bat flew towards Bart-man, Bart-man pulled a Zorro and tried to fight it with his sword (I mean fishing net),

and then the bat flew towards the patients that were walking in the parking lot. I kid you not, the thing was HUGE when it's nappy little wings were spread. Needless to say, they ran screaming to their cars...and I laughed my face off from the safety of the indoors. Bruce Wayne picked a great symbol to scare the pants off of people. Just another day at the office, my friends...just another day at the office.

I've been tagged!

A little about me...
What are the last 3 things you purchased?
*A load of groceries at Target...
*Gas...always gas.
*A guided kayaking trip

What are the last 3 songs you downloaded?
*Around You - Ingrid Michaelson
*Are You In? - Incubus
*Anna Molly - Incubus

What were the last 3 places you visited?
*Stu's in Laramie
*Mi Madre's in Lovell
*Camping up the North Fork near Yellowstone...pretty much I don't leave Wyoming or Colorado

What are your 3 favorite movies?
*Pride & Prejudice
*The Bourne Series
*The Dark Knight, baby!

What are your 3 favorite possessions?
*James
*Clothes
*The ice cream in my freezer...

What are your 3 wishes?
*If I told you I'd have to kill you...
*Making more money than I spend
*I'd show as much interest in reading my scriptures as I did for Breaking Dawn...(I finished it at 4 on Saturday...I got it Saturday...)

What are 3 things you haven't done yet?
*Taken a shower today...
*Climbed Mt Everest
*Put the laundry in the dryer...I don't feel like it.

What are your 3 favorite dishes?
*Ice cream
*Pasta
*Pizza - Papa Murphey's

What are 3 things that freak you out?
*Dirty band-aids...ewww....
*Spiders
*Running alone on the trails at the park...when I think about it

Name 3 things you are good at?
*Eating ice cream
*Falling asleep in less than 30 seconds...
*Nagging James...just ask him! ;)

Name 3 things you are currently coveting
*Clothes
*A new computer
*The combination to a bank vault so I can buy the above listed

3 bloggers I tag
*Tami
*Teri
*Kalli

Awesomeness

For those of you who haven't seen it yet, The Dark Knight was, well, awesome! Seriously, awesomeness was radiating throughout that whole theater. I have to say that Heath Ledger was awesome (are you seeing a theme here?). It makes me sad that he won't be in the future batmans to come. But, I'm not going to cry about it. :) Dana & James give it 2 thumbs up!


We went to a Rockies game last Monday night with James's friend from back home, Roli Cortez and his girly friend. It was pretty fun, but we left at the end of the 6th inning when the score was 16-6. Needless to say, it wasn't a sit-on-the-edge-of-your-seat kind of game. However...

Our seats were right behind left field...right behind Matt Holliday...

Do you see him checking me out? (Never you mind that the instant replay was right behind me...I know what I saw). ;) James wanted to fight him, but thankfully I held him back...hee.

Part 2:

Mmmkay, anyway, I started this post last week, and I am now going to finish it...I'm a little slow. But first, I have a story to tell...

I am in Lovell right now at mi madre y padre's (what's the word for parents?). James, his brother's fam, and I went camping Sunday through today so I decided to do some laundry...

I started the laundry (actually my mom did, but I really do know how to start the laundry), and after the wash was finished, I went to put it into the dryer...I had emptied the washer of it's contents...there was something dark - black, if you will - in the bottom of the washer. I was washing whites, so I was very confused...Ipoked at it with my finger and immediately regretted it. I still was unsure what the crap it was so I grabbed a toothbrush that was sitting there and poked at it...and screamed bloody murder for the next 5 minutes. I ran out of the laundry room screaming (I'm really not kidding), ran over to the sink, put 5 squirts of soap on my hands and proceeded to scrub profusely. My mom and James kept asking what was wrong and all I could do was scream and scrub. Every time I thought about touching it, a new set of shrill screams escaped my throat...

This is a version of what was in the bottom of the washer. However, picture it wet and dead. And I touched it. With my finger. When I finally stopped screaming/laughing, my mom and James busted up laughing at me. Then she asked if I got it out...are you kidding me?

Anyway, so that's my evening in a nutshell. I'll post some pics from our camping trip probably next week since I'm a little slow. Hope you are all having an awesome week! ;) Oh yeah, and Breaking Dawn comes out in 3 days!!! Woo!

Randomness...

Ayight, first and foremost, I am a geek. Allow me to explain...

1) I just used the word "ayight" in my intro...

2) I want to be a vampire. Mmmkay, maybe not, but as you can see, my blog site is adorned with various Twilight pictures and blinking signs. Aaaand here's another...

Get this widget!

Woo! Not much longer until the 4th book of the series is released on August 2nd! I discovered these books over Memorial Day weekend this year when I stayed with Keela Collins. She was telling me about them and I thought they sounded, well, stupid. BUT, I was going to be sitting in an airport for an hour and a half and my flight was just as long, so I decided to give it the 'ol college try. Four days later, I was finished with all 3 books and was a zombie at work. I have since read them 2 more times, along with 16 other books trying to distract myself until August 2nd...maybe I shouldn't share this story...

3) I am so pumped for The Dark Knight. I am, as we speak (me and the mouse in my pocket), watching Batman Begins. Christian Bale is not hot...I have a habit of saying the opposite of what I really mean sometimes...

4) I ate cookies for breakfast and Cold Stone Creamery for lunch. Those of you who know about Cold Stone can understand...here is my favorite flavor:

Yum. Mix coconut and graham cracker in it.

Needless to say I have problems. The ladies I work with keep telling me it's going to catch up with me someday, but until then...

5) I went rollerblading the other day on some trails by my house that are super-sweet, and, well, I haven't been rollerblading for about 3 or 4 years...and even when I did rollerblade, I was never very good at stopping. The first 3 miles, I rollerbladed south...apparently it was mostly uphill. On the way back, I was flying. And I couldn't stop. And there was a bridge that curved to the left ahead of me. And I almost died. I flung myself onto the rails on the bridge and gave myself a nice bridge hickey all the way across my forearm. I started laughing and looked around...it's almost more embarrassing when no one is there to laugh at me. Hee.

K, I think I have sufficiently illustrated the fact that I am a geek. Time for more Batman. Oh yeah, and will someone explain how to post images? I'm a spazz and just spent like, 20 minutes trying to center them.

Hooray for Blogging!

Soooo...apparently Myspace and Facebook aren't enough. Honestly...anyway, I've decided to, once again, jump on the bandwagon and start up a blog! Yippee! Mainly I just want to be able to keep track of all of yours, so don't expect much...