Usually, I would never admit that anything is different, but I seem to be having a brief moment of clarity amidst the cloud of emotions I have been encircled in for the past day or so. I shan't spell it out for you. That would be inappropriate. And besides, then "they" would know what we were talking about. That's right. I just ripped my husband's face off for, well, I can't really seem to remember...hmm...but anyway, I just came back to my room to try to do some homework, and started sniffling over all of the problems I have in my life, when it dawned on me: I don't really have that many problems. And it seemed I'd felt this way before...through a series of some seriously highly intelligent musings and calculations, I came to the conclusion that this also happened approximately 30 days ago, give or take a couple of days. Gasp! Which brings us to now. Don't you worry, though. I haven't said sorry to James. Then he would know that I know that I'm crazy. Best to not discuss such things when I could snap back to that state at any given moment. Better yet, best not to discuss anything with anyone ...(computers and imaginary people don't count).
In fact, this may be the first time in history I've recognized the symptoms before it-that-must-not-be-named occurs. It's usually a hind-sight sort of realization, and again, not one that is usually ever admitted to. Perhaps I'm sending this message out as a warning in my brief moment of clarity: Beware. If you must speak to me, speak gently and avert your eyes...it would also be great if one of your husbands could remove my husband from the premises for, oh, I don't know, golfing or fishing. Something that will last a few hours...or days...cooked dinner would be welcomed as well if placed on the doorstep (run away quickly)...I'm fading fast, my friends. I can already feel the tiny tendrils of insanity weaving their way back into my brain, making everything slightly hazy and clouding my judgment...'til we meet again.
*Disclaimer: The above story was contrived during a highly emotional state, and may have been slightly embellished by author. Said author is really not that crazy. In fact, she's just fine. Nothing to worry about. Of course I'm fine. In fact, I think all this talk about monthly issues is ridiculous and our husbands/families/friends really are just jerks for a few days out of the month just to mess with us...yeah! Anyway, what were we talking about again? Oh yeah. I have a lot of homework. I should get on that...don't tell me what to do...
6 comments:
Hahahahaha!! Oh, Dana. You make me laugh. :) You need a break to come visit us! Lilly will keep James distracted. Hehe. See, I don't have that excuse yet... I randomly rip Dev's face off.... for NO reason? I haven't had your problem at all since having Lilly, but maybe the hormones are still there? haha...no idea, but at least you have an excuse! Talk to Mel on that subject... we've had that discussion before...and we laugh so hard. :)
Ha, Ha! Oh Dana!.......
Your Aunt Flow is in town? HAHA That is how I introduce this crazy/mad/sad/grouchy time to Craig. this too will pass....good luck on the homework. see you monday
So glad I'm not the only crazy one! My husband is so used to it he tells me when it is that time of the month. He will guess that I am starting about 3-4 days before I actually do.
But I'm with you, I think they just pick that time to act how they want so they can blame it on us ;)
Glad to know I'm not alone, ladies! :)
I just linked to your blog through Lundbergs and about died laughing. I can relate...and I want to tell you everytime I see you (but it'd be awkward, so I'll tell you here where there can be no awkward silences) that I totally wish you were my personal shopper. You always look amazing.
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