Ramblings of a delirious lass...

A few things I've learned  or observations made in the last couple of days...

- Is it me, or should this blog be entitled, The Adventures of D?

- Never try to cook pancakes and do laundry at the same time.  One will invariably forget about the pancake and then be left with something resembling...well, a burnt pancake.

- If the post-office man asks how one wants to send a package, one should tell him "the cheapest way possible," and never "it doesn't matter." If one fails to do so, post-office man may think he's funny and charge $24 to send overnight and then insist that one said "it didn't matter."  Not funny.  

- If a pop can was left overnight in vehicle during freezing temperatures, do not attempt, I repeat, do not attempt to open can and drink it, especially while still in car.  One cannot suck up the massive quantities quickly enough during the explosion.

- If one values the hairstyle one has on one's own head, one must not exit the safety of one's vehicle under ANY circumstances in Casper, WY.

- Do not put red highlights in hairdo.  It looks like crap.

- While standing at the front of the store in Borders on cellphone, one must not yell at person with whom one is speaking to on said cell phone for 10 minutes.  This will most likely cause a feeling of unease in the people, well, in the entire store.  (This was an observation, mind you.)

- Wash car more often, especially once one finds out true color of car is not, indeed, brown, but pearly white.

- If someone says, "Hi," the correct response is NOT "Good, how are you?"  One will look like a moron.

- One must not buy a box of Gushers at grocery store when one knows the entire box will be eaten in one sitting.  One must not attempt to believe the voices that say one has self-control.

- One must not fall asleep on couch at 10:00 and then get up at 11:30 to take a shower.  One will not be able to sleep and will find oneself writing delirious blogs at 1:30 in the morning...

A Christmas Miracle...

I have a mild case of road rage. Nothing serious, but on occasion, generally when I'm in a hurry, I get extremely irritated and scream a few choice words at those in the vehicles around me. I mean, seriously. Who drives 40 in a 50? 30 in a 45??? I'm getting irate just thinking about it. Especially in Denver when there are millions of people driving and some moron slowing down the flow of traffic. K, I'm done. However, I must admit that I have found myself, usually on the backroads where there's not much traffic, singing to the music and cruising a few below the speed limit...when I'm not in a hurry of course. So it's okay then...hmm...I'm learning a lot about myself as I'm typing this out....

So there I was, making a right-hand turn onto Jordan Road. I had my own turning lane...one of those where you don't have to yield but eventually have to merge in with the traffic. I wasn't necessarily in a hurry, but I did have to get home to finish packing for the trip to WY that day. The light had just turned green for the traffic that I was trying to merge with. I was ahead of them slightly, but the SUV in the front lines decided that I was not allowed to merge in front of him...even though there were plenty of vehicles behind him and I was running out of room. I love my car. It has a V6 engine and speeds up quickly when I need to...not that that happens a lot...so I speed up and get in front of him. I was kind of annoyed, so imagine my reaction as I happen to look in my rear view mirror and see this:

Yeah, you know the type of bird I'm talking about. And it's not feathery. My right hand reflex began to take on a similar shape, only, I don't know...maybe in light of the holiday season...maybe the fact that we're supposed to be following in His footsteps...I began to laugh and put my hand back on the steering wheel. The whole thing seemed ridiculous to me in that moment. It was a Christmas Miracle...

The SUV continued to stay on my tail for another couple of miles until I had to take a left. As I was pulling into the turning lane, the SUV passed me and guess what was plastered to the window in my direction...yep, you guessed it. I turned the other cheek and continued on my merry way, ignoring the raging moron while I happily kept both hands on my steering wheel. (10 & 2, right? Ever since I failed my driving test, that knowledge is burned into my mind...)

So, I guess miracles really do happen. Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and that we (meaning I) can keep the spirit of Christmas in our hearts year-round. ;)

I had one job...

I teach the 5-year old Sunday school class.  This is my second time around...apparently, I didn't get it right the first time.  Actually, I've been in Primary since I got married.  I've done Activity Days, played the piano, taught CTR 5, and the 7-year olds (can't remember what they're called at this moment in time...)  I love Primary...well, most of the time.  During the few weeks that I did have off when we first moved into Parker, before they called me back, I was able to attend Relief Society.  And, amazingly enough, I did miss the Primary.  I didn't think I would...but, after all, there's no singing about Snowmen or Popcorn Popping in Relief Society.  There's no kids climbing in my lap or refusing to to do what I tell them to.  I don't get to color pictures of Jesus or play Hang Man (sometimes I forget 4 year-olds can't read).  However, there is one time of the year that I am anxious to get over with in the Primary.  It's called The Primary Program.  Yeah, you know the one.  When kids from the ages of 3-11 are expected to sit (quietly, mind you) for 2 hours while we get them ready for the program, week after torturous week.  Sorry, but even I cannot sit quietly for two hours...or 5 minutes...hmm...maybe I'm not the best example...

So there I was, fulfilling my duty as a Primary teacher...the kids in my class were to speak their part, then come over to me and get a picture to hold up.  It went something like this...the 1st child held a picture of Jesus.  The 2nd child held an arrow that said "Tells;" the 3rd child held a picture of the Prophet; the 4th child held another arrow with "Tells" on it.  And last, was just "Us."  So, basically, it was saying: Jesus tells the Prophet, the Prophet tells us (explaining how revelation works, right?)  We were flawless.  I was so proud of my kids.  One of the girls holding an arrow was holding it straight up and was wiggling around, but I figured that just livened up the program. There were a few laughs from the crowd, which I assumed were aimed at her.  

After church, when we got home, I asked James..."So how was the Primary Program?  Was it alright?"  To which he replied, "Good, except you had the Prophet telling Jesus what to do."  

I had one job..............looks like I might have to teach the 5 year-olds for the rest of my life.